Good Relationships Boost Happiness and Health

Happiness

As Robert Waldinger (n.d.) explained, “Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.” A large body of research supports Waldinger’s claim. In fact, having supportive relationships is crucial to our health and well-being. Researchers have discovered that people with close relationships to friends, family, or significant others are happier than those without. Likewise, the happier a person is, the more likely they are to have good relationships and support from others. That’s because when you have positive interactions with others, your mood is elevated and you feel happier. Then as your happiness level increases, the more likely you are to develop high quality relationships, which in turn will continue to increase your happiness. To put it simply, in cultivating your relationships with others, you experience an upward spiral of happiness and contentment.  

Feelings of joy and satisfaction can arise from any of the relationships in your life. In fact, studies have shown that having fulfilling relationships with friends and siblings is related to greater levels of happiness. Researchers found that very happy people reported having extremely satisfying friendships and spent less time alone than unhappy comparison groups (Diener & Seligman, 2002). In addition, Waldinger et al. (2003) found that 93% of men who were thriving at age 65 reported having had a close relationship with a sibling during college. Even relationships with coworkers are important contributors to personal happiness. Having a sense of emotional support among coworkers in the workplace boosts job satisfaction and increases team performance. Good relationships with friends, siblings, and coworkers improve our well-being significantly!

Perhaps the most rewarding type of relationship is that of a couple who is happily married. People in high quality marriages report being happier than those who are single, widowed, divorced, or separated (Stone, 2022). Marriage researcher John Gottman (2002) agrees that a marriage as a long-term committed relationship with another human is an amazing gift of life. However, no matter what your relationship status is, the bottom line is this: how successful you are at obtaining and maintaining good relationships will largely determine your overall life satisfaction.

Health

Research also demonstrates that good quality relationships are protective against physical and mental challenges. Those who have close relationships with others tend to live longer lives and have better cardiovascular and immune functioning. Social support also buffers us from the negative effects of stress and helps us cope better with life’s challenges. In fact, Cohen et al. (1997) found that highly sociable people showed greater resistance to catching a cold when they were exposed to a cold virus. Furthermore, these people had larger social networks, greater social support, more positive emotions, better sleep and diet habits, and less stress hormones in their systems. Another study by Younger et al. (2010) found that women who received a painful stimulus actually felt less pain when they were either holding their boyfriend’s hand or looking at a picture of him. Our loved ones can literally lessen our pain and reduce our chances of getting sick! These studies and many others like them demonstrate the crucial role of social support in maintaining good physical health.

Conversely, a lack of close relationships and sense of belonging can endanger physical and mental health. Loneliness increases the risk of heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, cognitive decline, and sleep impairment, and puts people at the same health risk as cigarette smoking and obesity (Xia & Huige, 2018). On top of that, loneliness can increase the risk of depression and suicide. In fact, relationship conflict is often associated with depression, although researchers are unsure which comes first—depression or relationship problems. Difficulties in relationships create depressed feelings, and feeling depressed leads to increased irritability and social withdrawal, inevitably putting more strain on the relationship (Leonard, 2022). It would appear that both depression and relationship problems influence each other in a downward spiral of despair.   

Something important to note is that the quality of your relationships matters significantly. Poor relationships—characterized by high conflict and negative interactions—are detrimental to your health too. Researchers have found that unhappy marriages are worse for your health than divorce, and can increase your chances of getting sick by 35% and shorten your life 4 to 8 years. Many studies have demonstrated the negative impact social conflict can have on your health. For example, Kiecolt-Glaser (2018) took blood samples of newlyweds after they fought, and found that the more contemptuous and belligerent partners were to each other, the higher their stress hormone levels were. Thus, it is not enough to simply have a relationship; having good, positive relationships is what counts. Research has made the connection between social support and health very clear: having good quality relationships with others is critically important for our health and well-being.