forgiveness

How to Forgive Yourself and Others Through Self-Compassion

How to Forgive Yourself and Others Through Self-Compassion

Before I get into this, know there is a lot more where this story came from. I was with my entire family for winter break. After enjoying a wonderful Christmas day, I had the holiday bliss and warm-loving feeling ripped right out from under me a few days later. Here’s the gist: (1) my credit card information was stolen, (2) as I was talking to my bank on the phone to figure everything out the call dropped and I was locked out of my phone… turns out I was talking to hackers and not my actual bank, (3) my Apple ID was hacked, (4) my bank account was drained, (5) I was locked out of all my accounts and couldn’t change anything, and (5) I found out a week after all this terrible stuff that my car was broken into. Let’s just say it wasn’t a very happy New Year for me. After going through the cycle of shock, utter distress, mourning, anger, and hopelessness, I was left with the empty feeling of shame. Even though getting scammed was not inherently my fault, I felt so foolish. I should’ve known what was happening, I should’ve noticed the signs, etc. This rumination of not being able to forgive myself or the hackers who had done this to me was weighing on me heavily.  

Forgiveness—Because Holding a Grudge is a Terrible Workout

Forgiveness—Because Holding a Grudge is a Terrible Workout

Forgiveness is a decision that you make. Different circumstances require different methods for healing, reparations, and letting go. You can’t always speak for or understand someone else’s motives. You can’t always know if they feel sorry for what they did. One thing you can know though, is that forgiving allows for personal peace and happiness. Personal liberation is a feeling many strive for. Life gets busy very quickly with work, friends, and family, and people are an essential part of societal interactions. It’s my hope that you can consider relationships in your life that could be repaired or strengthened. Timing is different for everyone, but the power of forgiveness is yours to wield.

When Forgiveness is needed, Compassion is required

When Forgiveness is needed, Compassion is required

There is a strong relationship between forgiveness and compassion. We all have had experiences where we have felt hurt by the wrongdoings of others. How will we react? Will we try our best to just forget it? Will we suppress the feeling until “it goes away”? Will our pride get in the way of accepting that we need to forgive? These are just a few examples of what some of our thoughts might look like before beginning the process of forgiveness. It can be really hurtful and painful to feel that you have been wronged, but at the end of the day, it’s our choice to decide what we will do next. This is when compassion comes in.