By Mikaela Ahlstrom
“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”
Have you ever tried to make a positive change in your life and discovered that it was a lot more difficult than you initially expected?
If so, you are not alone! As frustrating as it can be to struggle to improve, understanding the process of change can provide valuable insights and the motivation to keep pushing forward when the going gets hard. And to understand how change occurs within ourselves, let’s take a look at another type of transformation: chemical reactions.
Chemical reactions occur when the atoms in one molecule rearrange themselves with the atoms of another molecule. Here is an example of a chemical reaction written as a chemical equation:
NaHCO₃ + HC₂H₃O₂ → NaC₂H₃O₂ + H₂O + CO₂
You may be surprised to know that you have likely seen this reaction occur! This chemical equation describes what happens when you mix baking soda (NaHCO₃) and vinegar (HC₂H₃O₂), which produces sodium acetate (NaC₂H₃O₂), water (H₂O), and carbon dioxide (CO₂).
Some chemical reactions occur pretty effortlessly, like the one mentioned above. Other reactions are more difficult to initiate. This is because the bonds that hold atoms together in a molecule can have varying degrees of strength and stability. Stronger, more stable bonds are harder to break (a necessary step before the atoms can be rearranged), and vice versa. Activation energy refers to the amount of energy required to break chemical bonds and initiate a reaction.
Chemical reactions also differ in the amount of energy that is either absorbed or released in the process. Endothermic reactions result in products that contain more energy than their reactants. Have you ever used an instant cold pack? When you squeeze the cold pack, you allow the chemicals inside to react with each other and absorb energy from their environment. This is why the cold pack feels cool to the touch. Conversely, an exothermic reaction releases energy, or heat, into the environment, and the products end up at a lower energy level than they started with.
Now, what does this have to do with personal growth?
When we try to improve ourselves (e.g., establish a better sleep schedule, break harmful thinking patterns, etc.), a lot of energy is required to make that change stick. Think of this as the activation energy of a chemical reaction. Our brains are so used to following our usual routines because they take the least amount of effort to perform. And while research has confirmed that our brains can be reshaped throughout our lives (Gazerani, 2025), forming new neural circuits doesn’t happen overnight.
Imagine that you are attempting to get out of the habit of checking your phone while working on other tasks. Your brain defaults to picking up your device when you are stressed or bored because you’ve done it enough times that it has become second nature. You are here:
You decide that you want to change. Despite your initial determination, however, you find yourself reverting back to your prior tendencies. You may think to yourself, “I’m trying to be better, and it feels like things have only gotten harder!”
Well, you are right. By trying to create a new habit, you are working against the neural pathways that have already been established in your brain, and new ones are being forged. You are now here:
It may be tempting to give up at this point. However, just as the products of an exothermic reaction end at a lower energy level than they were at initially, developing good habits will make things easier in the long run. Once we have gotten past the hump required to make new routines stick, we will find that it will require less energy overall to be where we want to be in life.
New habits can form after a couple months of diligent effort, though the exact timing depends on a variety of factors, including the type of habit, how often it is performed, and the motivations behind the behavior change (Singh et al., 2024). It will likely take some trial and error to figure out the best approach to solidifying new habits. However, there are some strategies that you can use to facilitate the process:
Habit-Stacking: When introducing a new habit, it can be helpful to pair it with one that you already perform regularly. For example, if you want to work on being more grateful, you might commit to write down one thing that you appreciate each night after brushing your teeth. Brushing your teeth then becomes the cue that reminds you to follow through with your gratitude habit.
Start Small: Instead of setting a large, ambitious goal from the get-go, focus on making small yet consistent progress. Set yourself up for success by making it as easy as possible to practice your habit. You might decide to go for a five minute walk in the mornings rather than attempting to run every day. Once your current variation of your habit becomes easy, add a little more challenge.
Use Rewards: If you are having a hard time feeling motivated to change, consider finding a way to reward yourself when you make progress. You could even pair an unappealing habit with something that you enjoy, like listening to a good book while you fold the laundry or getting together with a friend to meal plan.
Track Your Progress: Hang up a habit chart on your wall or download an app that allows you to record when you successfully practice a habit. Tracking your progress can make it easier to be accountable to yourself and remember to follow through.
Never Miss Twice: If you get off track, be patient with yourself, but recommit to your goal as soon as possible. This strategy is recommended by James Clear, author of Atomic Habits. He observed, “The first mistake is never the one that ruins you. It is the spiral of repeated mistakes that follows. Missing once is an accident. Missing twice is the start of a new habit” (Clear, 2021).
Remember: don’t quit when it gets hard—that’s how you know you’re on the right track!
Check out our Personal Growth module and Growth Habits mini-module for more information and resources on this topic.
“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”
References
Clear, J. (2021, March 23). I try to remind myself of a simple rule: never miss twice. If I miss one day, I try to [Status update]. Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=2813066839008051&set=pb.100044563713779.-2207520000
Gazerani, P. (2025). The neuroplastic brain: Current breakthroughs and emerging frontiers. Brain Research, 1858, Article 149643. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brainres.2025.149643
Singh, B., Murphy, A., Maher, C., & Smith, A. E. (2024). Time to form a habit: A systematic review and meta-analysis of health behaviour habit formation and its determinants. Healthcare, 12, Article 2488. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare12232488