Self-Compassion Strategies Menu

The following is a collection of research-based exercises for practicing self-compassion. Experiment with as many of these as you can, recognizing that some will feel more natural or impactful than others. Feel free to modify and personalize these exercises to better meet your needs. Over time, you’ll likely discover a few exercises that resonate with you. Take note of these and practice them consistently to increase your self-compassion and overall well-being. 

Guided Self-Compassion Exercises - Using the free Insight Timer mobile app, search for “self-compassion” in the guided meditations. Experiment with many of the options you find, and bookmark your favorites for later use. Check out the following exercises to get started:  

Lisa Abramson: 10 Minutes of Self-Compassion (10 min) 

Kali Green Yogini: Sowing the Seeds of Love Within (13 min) 

Meg James: RAIN of Self-Compassion (16 min) 

Compassion From Others - Either as a meditation or written exercise, reflect on the compassion that others have for you—parents, mentors, friends, or deity figures. You can choose one person, a group of people, or more than one individual. Consider how they feel about you, how they act toward you, and, most importantly, how they treat you when you’re struggling. What would they say or do in such a moment? Try to see yourself through their compassionate eyes. Speak to yourself as they would, and imagine how it would feel to always react to yourself this way when you’re hurting. 

Natural Compassion - You may have someone you feel natural compassion for—whether it’s a child, a close friend, a spouse, or even a pet. How do you feel about them? How do you treat them when they’re sad or hurting? What would you say or do for them? Now, replace that person with yourself. Do you feel resistance to offering the same kindness to yourself? If so, notice the resistance, and try to let it go. Try to treat yourself with the same care you would offer this person. 

Labeling Your Emotions - Labeling your emotions is a valuable first step in working with difficult feelings. It helps you see emotions as transient rather than all-encompassing.  Choose words that describe the core feeling (e.g., anger might stem from disappointment or embarrassment) and label it accurately. Once you’ve named the emotion, repeat its name two to three times. Remember, emotions are temporary, and they will change. 

Finding Emotions in Your Body - Emotions often express themselves physically. Identifying the physical sensation linked to an emotion can be easier than confronting the mental component. When you feel a strong emotion, try to locate the sensation in your body. For negative emotions, this may manifest as tension, pain, stomachaches, dizziness, or muscle tightness. Observe the sensation and breathe into that space. See if you can allow the sensation to soften with each exhalation, and it may provide mental relief. (You can also practice finding positive emotions in your body.)  

Soften, Soothe, Allow (Neff, 2024b) - You may want to try this practice if you are struggling with some challenging emotions: https://self-compassion.org/practices/soften-soothe-allow-working-with-difficult-emotions/ 

Self-Compassion Phrases - Metta meditation, the foundation of self-compassion, uses phrases to cultivate loving-kindness. For example: “May I be happy, may I be at peace, may I live with ease, may I be free from suffering.” You can personalize these phrases to suit your needs (e.g., “May I accept myself just as I am”), but avoid being overly specific (e.g., “May I get into the college I want”). Use these phrases daily, either through formal meditation or in difficult moments. The key is to cultivate a loving, kind attitude, rather than focusing on a specific outcome. 

Formal Metta Meditation - Loving-kindness (metta) meditation teaches compassion for yourself and others. If you wish to pursue this practice more rigorously, look for local practitioners or teachers. See the Resources section for online guided metta meditations. 

Self-Compassion in All Areas of Life - Take time to reflect on how you can be more self-compassionate across various aspects of your life—physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. Consider how you can increase self-kindness and self-care in each area and reduce suffering. This exercise can expand your view of the ways self-compassion can be integrated into your daily life. 

Twenty Minute Self-Compassion Meditation by Kristin Neff - http://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/LKM.self-compassion_cleaned.mp3 

Five Minute General Self-Compassion Break by Kristin Neff (2024a) - self-compassion.org/practices/general-self-compassion-break-2/ 

Self-Compassion Journal - http://self-compassion.org/exercise-6-self-compassion-journal/ 

Practice self-compassion, however that looks for you! What can you do today to be kind to yourself?