By Leini Jenkins
“Perhaps the secret of living well is not in having all the answers but in pursuing unanswerable questions in good company.”
You've probably heard that social connections and relationships are beneficial for you, but did you know that your brain actually needs in-person social interactions with other humans?
Just as eating and drinking are essential for your body's ability to function and stay alive, in-person social connections with other humans are crucial for our brain function, health, and overall well-being. Let's explore why this is, including what happens when we become increasingly disconnected, and what we can do to ensure we are getting the in-person social connections we need.
Why is in-person social interaction so important for our brains?
It could be because human brains have evolved and developed over a long period of time to favor social connection and human interaction. Those who stayed in groups and formed social connections had a better shot at surviving. Thus, selection favored those who formed social bonds. Even our physiology points to our ability to form complex social relationships (think facial features, expressions, and body language). As a result, our brains are wired for and especially sensitive to in-person interactions. For example, the brain has built-in reward systems that utilize the release of neurotransmitters (oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine) that are released when we connect with others. These neurotransmitters help us feel good when we connect, motivating us to want to do it again. These built-in mechanisms reward us for making in-person connections because thousands of years of evolution have reinforced that this is good for us (Rein, 2025).
When it comes to human development, starting in infancy and continuing throughout our lives, our brains rely on in-person, social interaction with and observation of other human beings. Our ability to perform the many complex tasks that we often take for granted is due to our brains evolving alongside other humans. Other theories suggest that forming healthy attachments with other humans is a crucial factor in our brain's ability to regulate emotions and contributes to our overall well-being (Newman & Newman, 2016). Interaction with other humans also appears to be crucial in the development of empathy and understanding others' experiences (Rein, 2025)
In-person social interaction boosts happiness (Folk & Dunn, 2023) even when you don't think it will. In one study, participants were either required to chat with strangers while riding on a train or instructed to keep to themselves. Those who interacted with others rated the train ride as more pleasant afterwards compared to those who did not. The interesting part was that even those who initially had doubts or felt unsure about interacting with strangers still felt better afterwards than they did before getting on the train (Schroeder et al., 2022). Frequent social interaction is linked to greater well-being (Forbes et al., 2023), helps us better respond to and deal with stress (Rein, 2025), and may help lower the risk of dementia (Kuiper et al., 2015). And these are just a few of the many benefits!
What happens when in-person interactions get replaced?
If you pause and think for a moment, you can probably start naming a few ways our lifestyles have become less socially connected. For example, many fast-food restaurants and grocery stores offer self-ordering and self-checkout options. Contactless food delivery services, grocery delivery services, remote work and classroom settings, social media, a hostile political climate, and nonstop streaming services make it ever more enticing to binge watch shows by yourself. While these things may be convenient and in some cases useful, it's worth considering the potential costs. For example, one survey found that over the span of eight years (2013-2021), people decreased how often they were with friends and increased the time they spent alone (Ward, 2022). From the 1990s to 2021, more people have reported that they have fewer close friends (Cox, 2021), and a little more than half (58%) of adults in America reported feeling lonely (Buechler, 2022).
Just as our bodies will start to let us know it has been a while since we last ate, because our brain needs social connection (especially in-person connection), when it senses a deficit, it signals the release of stress hormones, such as cortisol, into the body. This release and the subsequent physical and mental consequences act as an alarm system (Rein, 2025), making us feel distressed, uneasy, anxious, or depressed (Knox et al., 2022). And while scrolling through social media might feel like you are "connecting," research suggests that social media can have a negative impact on your mental health precisely because it takes you away from real-life interactions with others (Hu et al., 2025).
How much is enough?
Ben Rein, a neuroscientist who studies the effects of social interaction on the brain, discusses what he refers to as the social diet. He states that while in-person social interactions are necessary, the amount is going to vary from person to person (Rein, 2025). One person may need a lot of social interaction in order to thrive and reap the benefits, while others may not require as much. That said, it may be worthwhile to get outside your comfort zone and try socializing more than you would initially prefer. It's also worth noting that not all interactions are enjoyable, and some can even be harmful. Seeking out and building healthy relationships that enrich your life will be the most rewarding. If you are interested in learning more about how to build and maintain healthy, supportive relationships, check out our My Best Self module on relationships. It is packed full of evidence based strategies and information on this topic!
So, how can we still make sure we are getting good old-fashioned face-to-face interaction with other humans?
While it may be easier to scroll social media or watch endless TV, instead, look for ways to socialize with others. Host dinners with friends or family, schedule regular game nights, invite others to go for walks or take a group exercise class, find time to hang out with friends, even if it is just getting together to talk. Instead of binge watching TV shows or playing video games by yourself, invite friends or family over to watch/play with you. Check to see if there are in-person volunteer opportunities available in your community, or consider starting a project of your own! Even small interactions can make a difference. Order in-person when you go to a restaurant or check out at the store. If you take public transit, consider having a brief conversation with someone. If you opt for store pickup, have them hand you the order, or get out and help them load it, so you can briefly interact with them. Finding ways to socialize doesn't have to be complicated or expensive, but investing some time and effort into it will likely pay off, and your brain will thank you!
“I remind myself that I’m always more satisfied by human interaction than by a digital connection.”
References
Buechler, J. (2022, May 25). The Loneliness Epidemic Persists: A Post-Pandemic Look at the State of Loneliness among U.S. Adults. The Cigna Group Newsroom. https://newsroom.thecignagroup.com/all-stories?item=446
Cox, D. A. (2021, June 8). The State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss - The Survey Center on American Life. https://www.americansurveycenter.org/research/the-state-of-american-friendship-change-challenges-and-loss/
Folk, D., & Dunn, E. (2023). A systematic review of the strength of evidence for the most commonly recommended happiness strategies in mainstream media. Nature Human Behaviour, 7(10), 1697–1707. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-023-01651-4
Forbes, P. A. G., Pronizius, E., Feneberg, A. C., Nater, U. M., Piperno, G., Silani, G., Stijovic, A., & Lamm, C. (2023). The effects of social interactions on momentary stress and mood during COVID-19 lockdowns. British Journal of Health Psychology, 28(2), 306–319. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjhp.12626
Hu, J. M., Balow, S., Meng, J., Ellithorpe, M., & Meshi, D. (2025). Social Network Density Mediates the Association Between Problematic Social Media Use and Depressive Symptoms. International Journal of Human–Computer Interaction, 41(13), 8047–8052. https://doi.org/10.1080/10447318.2024.2404262
Knox, L., Karantzas, G. C., Romano, D., Feeney, J. A., & Simpson, J. A. (2022). One year on: What we have learned about the psychological effects of COVID-19 social restrictions: A meta-analysis. Current Opinion in Psychology, 46, 101315. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2022.101315
Kuiper, J. S., Zuidersma, M., Oude Voshaar, R. C., Zuidema, S. U., van den Heuvel, E. R., Stolk, R. P., & Smidt, N. (2015). Social relationships and risk of dementia: A systematic review and meta-analysis of longitudinal cohort studies. Ageing Research Reviews, 22, 39–57. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.arr.2015.04.006
Newman, B. M., & Newman, P. R. (2016). Theories of human development (Second edition). Psychology Press.
Rein, B. (2025). Why Brains Need Friends: The Neuroscience of Social Connection. Penguin Random House.
Schroeder, J., Lyons, D., & Epley, N. (2022). Hello, stranger? Pleasant conversations are preceded by concerns about starting one. Journal of Experimental Psychology. General, 151(5), 1141–1153. https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0001118
Ward, B. (2022, November 23). Americans are choosing to be alone. Here’s why we should reverse that. The Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/11/23/americans-alone-thanksgiving-friends/