How do we grow? Do we look to our siblings or our parents? Do we rely on our favorite social media influencers or friends? What about our religion or values?

Here is the question that has been on my mind: Am I growing?

Like you, my life is not perfect. I noticed this when a manager reprimanded me for something that I felt was unfair, when a friend group left me out of activities, and when I had an illness growing up that affected me until almost 18 years old. Do any of these seem familiar? That is because they are common experiences felt by many. When difficult trials arise, we can either choose to be “better or bitter,” as my mom taught me. Let me set the stage.

Have you ever had a big goal that seems impossible to complete? A New Year's resolution to eat better, lose weight, or quit a bad habit? Many people struggle to stick to their goals, especially in the long term. While this can often be frustrating and make situations seem helpless, not accomplishing and stopping unrealistic goals should not be viewed as a failure and can result in better physical and psychological health (Miller & Wrosch, 2007; Wrosch et al., 2013). True growth comes from aligning your goals with your values and allowing yourself to succeed and fail with compassion. An important thing to remember is that practice makes progress not perfection. As goals are developed, they should be specific, challenging, personal, and meaningful (Nowack, 2017).