Identifying Externals

If the foundation of Stoicism is proper judgment, then the cornerstone of Stoicism is letting go of externals. Just as Epictetus explains, externals are anything we do not have control over, or anything not up to us. We've all tried to control things that we had no control over, from romantic relationships to traffic lights. The truth is that some things are just out of our control. There are some things completely out of our control. Take this example from our research team member Steve Christensen: 

“At one point on my mission trip for my church, I became absolutely obsessed with being a leader over the other guys in the mission, I wanted everyone to like me and respect me, and I wanted to accomplish everything that we were being asked to do. But, for months, I was passed over for leadership opportunities.  I convinced myself that no one liked me and that I was failing in everything we were being asked to do. It wasn’t until much later that I realized I had no control over my own goals, or anything in my life. One day in the middle of a meeting, I had a panic attack. It was a wake-up call for me.” 

As William B. Irvine suggested, life is like a tennis match. Anyone can practice before, string their racket right and stretch, but once you get on the court, chance takes over. Sometimes a ball hits the racket wrong or your opponent is having the best day of his life. In any case, we lack complete control over our circumstances. Yet how many Ralph Naders out there attach themselves to these externals? That’s the point; because of all the things we can’t control, we have to put our energy into what we can control—-ourselves. Stoics suggest instead that we refrain from attaching ourselves to events. They create a contingency upon our happiness, pushing and pulling at our center, preventing us from achieving eudaimonia. 

Waking up to what is in our control is a liberating endeavor. Spending our energy on internals like our own opinions, impulses, pursuits, desires, and aversions allows us to witness tangible and long-lasting results in our character that seep into our relationships and achievements. The Stoics implore us to self-reflect and develop our opinions, desires, and morals. See the exercises below to start working on this internals. This attention is what proceeds deep peace and a state of tranquility. Doing this can save us from a world of painful thoughts and emotions. It can also save us from expanding our energy in a senseless direction. 

Practice: Focus on what is in your control: 

Time: 10 minutes  

Foundation: As Epictetus explained, “The chief in life is simply this: [What has to do with my] choices, I actually control. Where then do I look for the good in evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.”

Materials: Journal and/or planner, and pen

Description: Begin by drawing two vertical lines halfway down a page, dividing the page into three columns. First column, write a list of events you had complete control over. Second column, write a list of events you had partial control over. Third column, write a list of events you have no control over. Limit yourself to about five items in each column. Review your third column and identify which events you feel stressful or anxious feelings around. We’d be willing to bet that nine times out of ten the things you’re most worried about fall into column three.   

If you’re just starting out, we’d recommend doing the exercise in the evening about a half hour before you go to bed. For those who’ve tried out the exercise before and want to kick it up a notch, try doing the exercise at lunch and in the evening, then compare the two. This can also be a mental exercise if you don’t have paper or enough time. If you’re really a master at identifying externals, then wake up and try predicting what externals might interfere with your plans and what internals you have control over.