Joyful Stoicism Strategies Menu
Here is a compiled list of all the Joyful Stoicism strategies from the mini module to use during your personal experiment
Practice: Seeing Your Opinions
Time: 10 minutes
Foundation: “Don’t tell yourself anything more than what you first hear. If you’ve been told, ‘So-and-so has been talking behind your back’, then this is what you’ve been told. You haven’t been told, ‘somebody has done you wrong.’ Stick with first impressions, don’t extrapolate, and nothing can happen to you.”
· Description: For this exercise, you’ll need a piece of paper (preferably in a journal or notebook of some kind), a pen, and a timer. Begin by dividing the paper into four columns. In column one write “What happened”, in column two write “What I believe”, in column three write “My reaction”, and in column four write “Different perspective”
· For this exercise, try and think of three events that happened to you during the day. These will go into the what column. Then attempt to recall what you felt about that event at the moment, including thoughts that you had (write this in column two) and what you did or felt like doing right after. The fourth column is for you to ask questions of yourself like “is this belief justified? Was my response correct? How would the other person see this event at the moment? How did my friend or would my friend respond in the same situation? How would the person I most respect respond?” Write for ten minutes and see how far you get!
Practice: Focus on what is in your control
Time: 10 minutes
Foundation: As epictetus explained, “The chief in life is simply this: [What has to do with my] choices, I actually control. Where then do I look for the good in evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.”
Materials: Journal and/or planner, and pen
Description: Begin by drawing two vertical lines halfway down a page, dividing the page into three columns. First column, write a list of events you had complete control over. Second column, write a list of events you had partial control over. Third column, write a list of events you have no control over. Limit yourself to about five items in each column. Review your third column and identify which events you feel stressful or anxious feelings around. We’d be willing to bet that nine times out of ten the things you’re most worried about fall into column three.
If you’re just starting out, we’d recommend doing the exercise in the evening about a half hour before you go to bed. For those who’ve tried out the exercise before and want to kick it up a notch try doing the exercise at lunch and in the evening, then compare the two. This can also be a mental exercise if you don’t have paper or enough time. And if you’re really a master at identifying externals then wake up and try predicting what externals might interfere with your plans, and what internals you have control over.
Practice: Keep a Journal
Time: 10-15 minutes
Materials: Journal or Notebook. Pen. Timer
Foundation: “Is there anything finer than this habit of scrutinizing the entire day? I exercise this jurisdiction daily and plead my case before myself. I examine my entire day and go back over what I’ve done and said, hiding nothing from myself, passing nothing by.” --Seneca
Description: Although very different from each other, Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, and Epictetus all had one thing in common: the habit of keeping a journal. The best example of this is Marcus Aurelius’ “Meditations” which was basically his personal diary that served as a cathartic reminder of a cultivating perspective. The following suggestions are modeled on the way Marcus would write in his own journal. Try them out and see what you think.
Activity 1. As you plan your week, pick a skill or attribute you want to work on for the next seven days. Something that takes time to develop but could be worked on each day (e.g., kindness). At the end of each day over the next seven days, reflect on your progress.
Activity 2. List individuals who have made a difference in your life, why they’ve made a difference, and how they influenced you towards virtue (including the types of virtue you found in them. Read the first chapter of Meditations for some good examples.)
Activity 3. Write in a second-person narrative. From the excerpt shared above, you’ll notice Marcus Arelius spoke in the second person to distance himself from events and your feelings about them. Detaching from your emotions and reactions helps you see your judgments more clearly.
Activity 4. Debate with yourself. If you want to justify your behavior, then do it, and often you’ll find it makes you seem even more ridiculous. But that’s also the point. Journaling is supposed to help change perspectives by giving time and space to see different angles.
Practice: Meditate on Death
Time: 10-15 minutes
Foundations: “We do not suddenly fall on death, but advance toward it by slight degrees. We die every day. Every day, a little of our life is taken from us right up to yesterday. All past time is lost time; the very day we are now spending is shared between ourselves and death. It is not the last drop that empties the water-clock, but all that has flowed out already.” –Seneca
Description: This is a meditation that is best done at the end of the evening and/or the beginning of the day. The concept is simple. First, recognize the truth that you are dying right at this moment and that the events of yesterday are dead time. Then ask the following questions of yourself:
1. What things did I do yesterday (today) that I approve of? That helped me feel more virtuous or good about myself?
2. What things did I do yesterday (today) that I disapprove of? That made me feel less virtuous or good about myself?
3. Envision actions that you could have done that you would approve of and make plans to do those actions today (tomorrow).
Practice: Criticism Meditation
Time: 5 minutes or less
Foundation: “When Archelaus, King of Macedonia, was walking along the street, someone dumped water on him. The king’s attendants said that he should punish the man. “Ah, but he did not dump the water on me,” the king replied, “but on the man, he thought I was.” –Montaigne
Description: This is a practice that is meant to be used at the moment you receive criticism or shortly afterward, although it can be practiced and perfected beforehand. The Stoics suggested a lot of different responses to criticism, but all of them begin with considering the statement or insult that someone has directed at you.
In this practice, think about the last time that you were insulted by someone. Then ask yourself these questions: does this person really know me? Are they a part of my life? Is what they are stating already obvious to me? If these questions are answered in the negative, then they are mistaking your identity. They are stating their vision of who you are, but they don’t really know you or else they would have said something that was even more cutting or said nothing at all. Dismiss their comments because they aren’t directed at you—they’re directed at who they think you are.
Practice: Naming Emotions
Time: 5-10 minutes
Foundation: “Whenever you are surrounded by people trying to convince you that you are unhappy, consider not what you hear them say but what you yourself feel.” Seneca
Materials Needed: Pen, paper, timer
Description: This is a mindfulness exercise. Set your timer for 5-10 minutes and then think about a recent event. How did you feel about that even at the moment, and how do you feel about it in your reflections? Write down any emotion that comes to mind: joy, anger, envy, frustration, fear, jealousy, etc. Pick one of these emotions and flesh it out. Why were you feeling that way? Who was the emotion directed towards? Was it helpful, or did it cloud your judgment? Continue writing until the timer goes off. If you want to keep going with the practice, feel free to write about each emotion that you’ve listed.
Practice: “And the truth is.”
Time: 30 seconds - 2 minutes. Any time you feel emotional pain.
Description: When you feel emotional pain, stop yourself and state the truth of your experience from your five senses. As an example: say I feel emotional pain in a crowd of friends. By simply stating the objective facts of what I perceive around me, I can stop false beliefs from developing into an emotion: “The truth is I am standing on two feet, and the truth is I can see a yellow vase in front of me, and the truth is I’m wearing a blue cotton sweater, and the truth is I’m having a conversation with my friend Sally...” As I have done this, I can feel the excess harm of my false beliefs/judgments/opinions melting away. This consistently helps me live in the present moment and out spiralling emotions.
Practice: Amor Fati: Love life as it is.
Time: 5-10 min
Preparation: Plan to complete this exercise as you perform a mundane task (i.e., doing the dishes, packing your lunch, folding your laundry, etc.)
Foundation: “Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens, happens the way it happens: then you will be happy.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
Description: Our intention here is to transform your mundane tasks into an eye-opening experience. As you begin your task, do so normally, paying attention to typical emotions that arise (ie, anxiety usually arises as I do the dishes). About a minute or two into the task, start looking at your actions with great novelty, as if you have never done it before. Begin to slowly perform each distinct movement with intention and mindful awareness of your body. As you do this, you will begin to witness your once programmed movements with amazement. Your mind will slow down, your goals will become clear, and you will begin to love and accept the miracle of being alive.
Practice: Premeditatio Malorum
Time: 2 min
Foundation: “What is quite unlooked for is more crushing in its effect, and unexpectedness adds to the weight of disaster. This is a reason for ensuring that nothing ever takes us by surprise. We should project our thoughts ahead… Rehearse them in your mind: exile, torture, war, shipwreck. All the terms of our human lot should be before our eyes.” --Seneca
Description: Before you embark on your responsibilities for the day, contemplate a list of five different possible and very reasonable ways where you may encounter setbacks. For example, there is always a real possibility that there will be a long line at the grocery store, an accident on the road, a frustrated person at work, a lost or stolen object, etc. Center this contemplation on likelihood, not on certainty. When you understand very practically that no person is immune to setbacks, you will experience less dissatisfaction and false expectation. This exercise of broadening perspective, allows you to meet each day’s events with calmness and ease.
Practice: Responding to Insults
Time: 10 - 15 min
Materials: Journal
Foundation: “Another person will not do you harm unless you wish it; you will be harmed at just that time at which you take yourself to be harmed.” - Epictetus
Description: When met with an insult, ask yourself a series of questions can eliminate any feelings of remorse, or embarrassment. Ask yourself, “Is what this person is saying, true to you?” “Are they placing their own judgment upon you?” “What is the likelihood that this judgment was intentional?” “Was their accusation/statement relevant or true to you?” If so, the information was obvious and need not induce any sort of anxiety or anger. Write down in your journal about which emotions you responded with at the time of insult and how you could respond in the future. Reason teaches us that we are separate from even our own judgments. Using the following affirmation helps us remember this. “My tranquility will not be disrupted by a simple judgment.”
Practice: Follow what is right
Time: 5 min
Materials: Journal
Foundation: “Let’s not waste time arguing what a good man should be, be one,” “if it’s right to say or do it, then it’s the right thing for you to do or say … To locate goodness in thinking and doing the right thing, and to limit your desires to that.” - Marcus Arelius
Description: Think of a time when you felt uncomfortable about a choice you made. In this context, where were you? What made you feel uncomfortable? What was the situation and reason why you made the choice? Now, what could you have realistically done differently? Make a plan for the next practical time you will be in a similar situation like that, and decide what you will do differently. As you get good at this, try to predict a difficult decision to be made around a likely crisis in your day. Try to foresee yourself doing the wrong thing then make a plan of how you could do the right thing. Make sure it is realistic and attainable.