savoring

The Day Ordinary Life Became Extraordinary: Finding Awe in the Moments We Usually Miss

The Day Ordinary Life Became Extraordinary: Finding Awe in the Moments We Usually Miss

There was a day, one I’ll never forget, when walking through my own front door felt like stepping into a miracle.

We had just returned home briefly between hospital stays. My son Wyatt’s body was exhausted from chemotherapy, my own heart was stretched thin, and every hour inside the oncology unit had felt heavy. The quiet hum of machines, the fluorescent lights, the interruptions through the night, those details had become our “new normal.” So when we finally made the drive home, unlocked the door, and stepped into the familiar light of our living room, something inside me shifted.

Suddenly, everything ordinary felt holy.

Chasing Goals? Don’t Forget to Enjoy the Ride.

Chasing Goals? Don’t Forget to Enjoy the Ride.

Many of us grow up believing that success and fulfillment lies in outcomes—finishing the project, getting the grade, achieving the goal. And of course these things matter; as a student, they’ve always mattered to me too! However, somewhere along the way, we may all forget one important thing: our lives happen within the process, not at the finish line.  

Savoring: A Chocolate Milk Redemption Arc

Savoring: A Chocolate Milk Redemption Arc

I remember being more excited to go to school on Fridays than any other day of the week. In elementary school, I followed a very conventional schedule: I went to school from 8:00 AM to 3:00 PM, Monday through Friday. Fridays were, of course, special. I think most people in the world have a soft spot for Fridays because they signal the start of the weekend—a glorious and triumphant day marking the end of a workweek. But that wasn’t my reason for loving Fridays.

Phubbing During the Holidays: How to Keep Your Phone From Stealing the Festive Spirit

Phubbing During the Holidays: How to Keep Your Phone From Stealing the Festive Spirit

Everyone knows that feeling all too well. The “mmm hmmm” without even a glance up. The “just a second -let me respond to this text”, right as we’re about to hit the climax of the story we’re sharing. The family gathered around a table with not one looking up from their device. There is nothing that kills social connection quite so aptly as untimely mobile device usage. In fact, this issue is so universal that psychologists have actually given it an official term– “phubbing”. Phubbing, or ignoring ones partner or those who are physically present in order to pay attention to ones phone. Researchers studying “phubbing” have found that this phone-snubbing can greatly harm social interactions, decrease trust, reduce relationship satisfaction, and can increase feelings of neglect and emotional distress

4 ways to face the transition to independence like a champ

4 ways to face the transition to independence like a champ

Being a freshman in college opens up many new opportunities and experiences. You are finally on your own, and now are considered a full fledged member of the adult world, even if you don't feel like one. However, in many cases this transition into independence can seem more like a monstrous moth hatching when instead you were hoping for a beautiful butterfly. Research has shown that, “6% and 12% of transition-age youth, defined as young adults ages 16-25, struggle with a serious mental health condition.” (Fosbenner & Al-Mateen, 2019) Change is hard. Especially if you are just moving out from home and wanting to make your own place in this world. It can be scary, overwhelming, and exhausting. You have to work to pay for college, housing, groceries, bills, transportation, and so on. All while making sure to get good grades, and maintaining a social life. Which, don't even get me started on the stress of also juggling a love life. I would know, I am experiencing it first hand. However, I believe that even amongst this growing anxiety and problems we are all capable of rising above it and living a much happier/healthier life. It all comes down to these 4 key points that can make all the difference.

Savoring Through Tragedy

Savoring Through Tragedy

Despite these obstacles preventing me from savoring, the most recent diagnosis of my brother’s cancer was a chilling dose of reality. No matter how much I was hurting, I knew I had to implement savoring in my life.  I decided to start simply by utilizing a couple of different methods that I will list below. These methods were taken from ideas established by Sonja Lyubomirsky (2008) in her book “The How of Happiness: a new approach to getting the life you want”. Although the changes were not immediate, and I still have a long way to go, I quickly noticed that the time I savored with my brother became some of the best moments that we have had together in years. Savoring did not take away the pain, but it made it bearable. Better yet, it made my experiences joyful, despite the pain that I felt at the same time. Not only did I feel happier, but my relationship with my brother improved. I know that no matter what happens, I will always be able to look back on these moments with fondness, despite their bittersweet nature. I know that if savoring helped me find joy in this difficult period of my life, it can help you, too.  

Positive Lexicography

Positive Lexicography

Language is a fascinating realm in which discoveries about culture and values can be made. In every language around the planet, there are unique words that only exist to that culture. Positive Lexicography, pioneered by positive psychologist Tim Lomas, PhD. in 2016, is the new study of seemingly untranslatable words that convey the meaning of well-being across various languages and cultures. By “untranslatable,” we mean that there is not a direct equivalent in English. These words can describe experiences unique to specific cultures or be concepts so important to the people that they have coined a direct term for it (Lomas, 2016).

Being v. Doing

Being v. Doing

Tara Brach defines being as “when we’re not on our way somewhere else”. Being is a sense of connection and acceptance with what is and who you are in this moment, while over-doing might involve acting to change or improve something because you perceive yourself or your situation as unsatisfactory. Over-doing might serve to hide the parts about yourself you don’t like or to control or change others. And when we’re hiding from ourselves or trying to control others, we’re disconnected from ourselves and others.

Savoring: Embracing The Goodness That Comes Your Way

Savoring: Embracing The Goodness That Comes Your Way

At the end of the day, do you ever have a hard time thinking about what went well for you? Because life can be hard and unpredictable, it’s easy to dwell on what goes wrong within a day. As humans, we have something called a negativity bias. This hinders our recollection of positive experiences, which, according to research, seem to actually occur 3 times more frequently than negative experiences. The good news is that we can apply something called savoring . From the MBS 101 savoring module, “savoring involves mindful awareness of positive experiences to prolong and amplify their value.”